The Post-Game Show
by PhoenixFire Lia
Summary: Terry Bradshaw will never hear the word digimon again, not so long as I'm around. Hear what my crew has to say about this shameless Los Luchadores plug marathon.


The Post-Game Show

_And now the FOX Kids Digi-Bowl presents the Post-Game Show, with your host, Terry Brad…hey wait a minute, you're not Terry Bradshaw!_

The house lights come up to reveal Lia sitting in Terry's chair.

"No, I'm not Terry Bradshaw. I'm Lia Agianna. Terry's, um, tied up at the moment. The camera pans to behind the desk, where Terry Bradshaw has been tied up with a pair of Mimi's gigantic white knee socks. 

_Well, what the heck are you doing here?_

"I just finished watching the Digi-Bowl, and I'm incredibly disgusted with it."

_What do you mean you just finished watching it?_

"I taped it since I slept through most of it. I was up all freaking night last night and my mom made me go take a nap."

_So what are you doing here?_

"I'm here to discuss what the hell happened with this ridiculous marathon with the actual cast and not just Izzy and Kari commentaries or football jokes. So, let's start with the team names. 'The Crimson Quake?' 'The Yellow Mash?' Why the hell couldn't we just call the teams 'Season One' and 'Season Two?' It makes more sense!" 

At this point, our field reporter, Nicki, enters the set and pops up behind the desk. 

"Right. And another thing, what about Patamon and Gatomon? They were in both freaking seasons! Shouldn't the first season get points for stuff they do in the second, considering that they were on the first season first?" 

"Good point. Let's go live to the Season One cast and get their opinions. Guys, what do you have to say about this whole retarded thing?"

Tai, Matt, Sora, Izzy, Joe, and Mimi are sitting in a locker room, in 02 mode, fuming. Matt especially looks pissed. 

"They cheated us! They rigged our episodes just so they could give the other team extra points!" Tai shouted.

"Yeah, why else would they pick 'The Ultimate Clash' and not something cuter, like…'Digi-Baby Boom?' It's just immoral!" Mimi added. 

"And when they penalized us for crying in our last episode? That was a cheap, unfair ruling! We're _leaving _the freaking Digital World and saying goodbye to our best friends, for what we thought at the time was forever! Of course we're going to be crying! What the hell do they expect us to do? Start beating the ever-loving crap out of one another?" Sora cried. 

"And what the hell did they do to the Halftime Show?!" Matt hollered, throwing a Gatorade jug across the room. "It was the same freaking fifteen second clip like always and even then that got interrupted by those retarded Los Luchadores! They aren't even superheroes! They're grown men (and one girl) running around in spandex wrestler masks! Could they at least give me a freaking actual song? Especially after everything I've done around here?"

"Just you wait and see, Lia. We'll get our revenge," Joe said, grinning maniacally. 

"Okay, thanks guys. Let's go now to the Season Two locker room and see what the new kids have to add to this," Lia said, kicking Terry Bradshaw from under the desk. The Season Two cast looked just as unhappy as the older kids…well, not T.K. and Kari. They're throwing darts at pictures of their brothers on the wall. 

"Ha! Terry awarded us double the amount of points from that last episode just to tie it up. That should show those jerk brothers of ours for stuffing us in a locker!" T.K. ranted. 

"We should have gotten more points than we did for those episodes," Yolei said, punching numbers into a calculator. "According to these calculations, there were places where our digimon were taking shots at their enemies and not getting points for them."

"They should have used better episodes! Those were the weakest ones they could come up with! If they had used 'Crest of Kindness' instead of 'Spirit Needle' we would have won for sure!" Davis raged, kicking the wall. 

"And speaking of 'Spirit Needle' did they count me as a Digidestined or not? Because I'm just as much a Digidestined as the rest of you and if I didn't get counted then that's just plain cheating!" Ken added. 

"Anything else?" Lia questioned, trying hard not to smack the incredibly annoying 02 DD's (except Cody, Ken, and T.K. cuz they're kawaii). 

"Just that they used Ken's D3 on our helmet and it looked ugly," Kari stated. 

"All right, I've come to a compromise that's better than a tie and has nothing to do with the Los Luchadores."

"What, that it was an evil plot concocted by Archnemon and Mummymon so they could plug themselves in at every commercial break?" Nicki asked.

"Not quite. This entire marathon, lame football jokes and all, was an evil plot concocted by none other than…Jeff Nimoy and Bob Buchholz! I say let's teach those bastards to mess with high-quality Japanese anime!" 

There was a sudden uproar from both sides as the Digidestined (both casts) plus Lia, Nicki, and Willis who was sitting in the referees' booth. They left the sets, ran down the hall, up twenty-seven flights of stairs and straight to the English Script Writers' office. 

"Nimoy, Buchholz, you're about to get thrashed! Then we'll see who's crying at the end of the episode!" Izzy shouted, banging on the door with his fist.

"This is the last time you humiliate us on a global scale, you self-absorbed dubbing freak bastards!" Cody hollered, holding a sword left over from Escaflowne from the prop room. 

"On behalf of all the authors at Fanfiction.net I shall beat the kuso out of anyone who dares defy the Code of Digidestined Morals and Honors, and that means you!"

"What Code of Digidestined Morals and Honors?" Tai whispered. 

"She's going to explain, I think," Nicki whispered back. 

"The Code of Digidestined Morals and Honors is law among devoted fans. It states thusly:

  1. Marathons should not be abused or used to torment the casts in any way, shape, or form. 
  2. There shall be no clearly defined couples on either season other than T.K. and Kari.
  3. Matt is not to be humiliated. 
  4. Izzy must always speak in technical jargon.
  5. The leaders must always be slight clueless.
  6. There must be at least one "dumb blonde" Digidestined *cough, cough, Yolei, cough* per season.
  7. Joe cannot ever have a lack of allergies. 

The list goes on, but these are the basics. As you can see, you are in direct violation of rule number one, and now we shall give you a taste of your own medicine."

"W-what are you going to d-do to us?" they stammered. 

Matt narrowed his eyes and gave the writers the "Evil Matt Ishida" look. 

"We're going to lock you in a room with Jun and make you watch the poorly Americanized versions side-by-side with the actual Japanese versions, starting with the most completely screwed episode of all, 'Playing Games.'"

"That's right, you cut out the entire 'puppet with a gun' scenario just because you didn't want to give kids the wrong impression and yet you allow my own father to be smoking after we blow up Venommyotismon, whom Terry Bradshaw didn't even say the name right?!" T.K. added. 

"No, please not that! Please!" they begged.

"It's either that or I get Chris McFeely to pull out Sensors Bob, Joe, and Steve (Shameless story plug. Keep it up, Chris!) and have them do what they do to their Nimoy."

"No! Please! We'll get better! We promise!" And they were locked in with (dumdumdum) Jun. 

"Now that that's done, let's get some coffee," Joe sighed.

"I never want to see another bottle of Gatorade again," Sora groaned.

"Are we going to leave Terry Bradshaw under the desk?" Willis asked.

"Why not? He has no career anyway if he's hosting a kids' TV show," Nicki pointed out. 

This has been the Digi-Bowl Post Game Show, brought to you by FOX and Fanfiction.net where the Los Luchadores unanimously suck already. 

A/N: This probably sucked, but like I said earlier, I was up all night last night and the last thing I wanted to see was Terry Bradshaw making a total a** out of my Matt. If you review, I won't have to send you Nimoy or Buchholz. Season One Digidestined (not the actual digimon other than Gomamon, just the kids) all the way! 


End file.
